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When a parent loses a child certain days unleash new waves of grief.  For the first few years birthdays are especially difficult, but often it gets easier as the years go by.  This poem was written about three years after our son died when the grief was still raw.  It reveals the broken heart of a mother. 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAM

 

Happy Birthday, my son,

Of what age are you now?

At twelve you were taken,

Almost three years ago

That makes you ‘bout fifteen

Or has God made you old?

 ***

How do you look,

His glory clothes now you wear,

Are there whiskers on your face,

Do you sniffle and sneeze?

Have you grown many inches

In stature do you stand tall?  

*** 

Do you remember your mom,

Her loving embrace to feel?

Does He tell you of my tears,

Or does His joy blinding you

Now forget all earthly woes?

*** 

When I get there, will glory

Cover the great loss I bear,

Or does pain of memory

Cling to eternities robe

Some spot time cannot remove?

*** 

How can I send gifts to you,

My son, how shall I wrap it. 

Now that you have everything,

Need you still tokens of love?

Who will blow out your candles,

May I make your birthday wish?

*** 

Do angels wrestle with you,

Faking weak to show you strong

You once loved to pin me down

Counting to ten, marking air

So the world would then know,

For one brief moment, your strength

Has now overcome your mom